Friend: I believe it is better to first be the right person instead of finding the right person; all else flows from there.
I agree but not without an explanation of this truth!
Relationship has a foundation in truth.. You can always see what you will draw to yourself in how you have your relationship with your birth parents.. If your father left you or your mother left you.. You will seek out the relationships that will challenge this about you inside of yourself. We don’t make it possible to see how we evolve from this because of the story we become from these very events. Most are trapped inside of incessant thinking which conditions the experience to be what you don’t want to be as you grow up. You will duplicate the behaviors without even realizing you are that way and don’t see that what you have become is the same thing your birth parents are inside you.
This funnel shaped illusion is distorted in many of ways.. If your a man in a relationship you will duplicate your fathers actions. Not because you want or need to but you will duplicate the ways that your father interacted in the world of form. You will be a provider if that is what your father did.. or you will be the runner in the relationship running from communication that will either evade you or keep you evading yourself because you never witnessed this truth that you can have a deeper relationship with yourself it wasn’t present in your existence.
If as a man your mother was the nurturer you will seek out a woman who carries these vibrations and will be in the same mode of sharing what you feel inside with her yet will struggle with ways that she will need or want from you if her father was a nurture and yours was not..
It is the cycle of energy that you are within that will be the truth that we make an illusion. How you accept this as your truth will be what you will plant inside yourself as the seed of truth to be more not just for anyone else but for yourself… You will become right in the mind.. Hence the need for the mental position you will always expose to others.
You will not seek the patterns of what has been in your existence you will create an all new one that will give you the love you have found inside from the places in you that were either missing or lacking as you have come into this existence.
The truth is the vibrational energy of dysfunction hasn’t been looked at in this way as it isn’t something we have been able to see because of the minds content across the 9 billion humans on this planet. It to has a place for you to be in survival mode and how you will exist depends on this mode of aliveness.. It is when you can break this barrier that you can find what the relationship is to yourself and how you take anything and absorb it the way that you did as a child as this child still is now within you.
A child who will not get nurturing love or witness nurturing love from his father will not be nurturing to anyone else who is male or female. It will have an impact as the child will see this as a way of existence. This is not something he will see, he will make this about what everyone else experiences and wonder what the fuss is about.. He will either stay in the lines of what is known and figure this out or become buried within it blaming everyone else for what he has experienced. It isn’t truly blame it is without this experience that he will make these choices as though no other choice exist.
Making the statement I will not be like my father or mother does one thing.. It traps you in the paradox of becoming more like them either to the extreme or the strength to break from these cycles has something else to give. The truth! The truth is love is not of these things and the relationship of being true to what you can share in love has more doors that can be open. It never means to be closed.. just these experiences do the one thing that we all miss when it comes to relationships. The truth in connection.
You are not playing a role, you are a heartbeat able to go fast or slow and share this in either case. It doesn’t take expression of what you learned, it takes expression of what you feel.. If I can’t share it, don’t fault me for being on the side of dominance that was given to me as a characteristic in ego to keep me in mind dominated form. This is the ground in which all relationships are fundamentally created on. The platform is see with eyes that stay in the moment yet the moment the child is in waiting for these events to come to pass. Break this mold.. break this cycle.. Realize you are more!