Clark and I were driving and having a conversation about a friend who is going through some Relationship Issues, a lot of the times when we are helping someone work through something we often reflect on personal journeys and this time was no different, I went back briefly to a place where there was much hurt in our Journey and I was not standing in my truth. I then was hit with a profound thought, Wow most of the time it really isn’t the truth we seek, it is the truth ABOUT the truth.
We never want to have the stress and burdens of our untruths unveiled completely, at the point in our relationship where I was in fact not being truthful to him or myself, or anyone else for that matter, I was wrapped in series of events that kept me in bondage, kept me in lies, kept me in hiding and manipulation, the Truth was I no longer wanted to be in these behaviors, I never had any intention to Hurt the one I love, never , inside of the human mind it tells you, you can end a pattern and tell the truth but not the “Whole truth” and therefore you will be freed from the burdens of the lies and your loved one will be hurt, however not as hurt as they would be if the truth about the truth was revealed, so, I decided i would at that point just change my behavior and that was truth enough for me and he would never be hurt and i would be free, Boy was I wrong! The law of Karma stepped in and said well yeah you TRIED to do the right thing and made DECISIONS to head in the right direction but your failing at the truth! and cause and effect was I caused a world of hurt as I was removed from the situation all together and not only did he find out the truth, he found out the TRUTH about the truth and well it was a life altering pain. I caused that! Simply by avoiding the truth about the truth.
For example, we were guiding a couple and one of them found out the truth, but going through some of their text messages the other was not being faithful. During the process of guiding that person found out it went deeper then once thought, it had been going on for longer, the degree of the affair was deeper than once thought in the beginning. He found out She was actually telling someone else she loved him, and the feelings were being returned. He heard Voice Mails of this man telling his wife he loved her, when confronted with this information he wife stated to him she was going to tell him AFTER the first of the year… In situations like this the truth does come out, but what about the truth of the truth, the truth of the truth not being the truth about the affair, or telling someone else they loved them, or even how long or intense the affair was, although All of these truths needed to be revealed, the truth about the truths are the whys, and believe it or not its Never about the other person, although we tend to want to place a blame, “ I cheated on you because we were not intimate enough” or I cheated on you because “you are hard to talk to” or even “you work to much, we never go out, im not getting what I need”. The Truths about the truths are always about US. What are we not giving ourselves?
The truth about the truth is what is needed for healing even after the truths, The Whole truths not portions, or fractions or half truths, how else are we going to heal the deepest wounds from the inside out? how else will we heal from mistrust. Without revealing the truth about the truth, the truth really isn’t even the truth at all is it?
As I compassionately listened to Lois I realized the impending bending of all truth is what we all have that we are never able to absorb, as these things are hidden! The trust of what the truth gives us becomes illusive. Not elusive because of the truth itself, but because of the lie we tell ourselves inside of our minds that make what the truth will do unbearable, and become an avoiding energy we give to others that shows them they need to seek the truth out for themselves. We speculate what this will do to them and to ourselves, the annihilation it will cause, the disruption in energy that this calls to. As you become more aware of what it means to tell the truth the things that come to you about that truth are that if some of these things that come out will be the end of something. Don’t worry you are right, right so much that you don’t see that this form of being right is the truth itself and how it embraces itself.
When I was lying to myself the most important energy I was attracted to was survival. Not survival of self but the survival of a belief that was indeed the lie I was running from. This pain was not just my own to endure but it was everyone else who became drawn into the misery in mystery of the lie I was believing inside of myself.
What was the lie exactly? Well it was the lie that I was going to be whole somehow if I found the person who could give me my dreams, this was a lie because it was something I had to teach everyone around me to include myself. I wanted sensual experiences, I wanted loving experiences, I wanted the concept of what we all dream from the romantic eye to believe, and it could be incredibly passionate, or incredibly sexy and incredibly love filled. I wanted this in my everyday existence as a quest to have within my existence. It was an energy that just felt unbelievably whole to me. The sexual part of this was only a portion, the energy of connection was what I wanted, needed and was determined to find. The way I was in existence was calling to this energy in a lie, yet it was something I was sharing about myself with lies that may or may not have been in the other person yet they tried to experience it with me.
Never truthfully gravitating to what it was in essence, and possibly didn’t ever experience it inside of themselves. I would look deep into the others eyes and a majority I could see the love they were in energy, yet mistakingly making it about what I thought they were, not what they were without my thought process. This was the illusion of being whole without being in the truth. As this faded with someone, it was not because of them, but because in my line of thinking to myself, they could take off and complete me into being me, into them just by seeing the truth about what energy I was in connection to them. This was not living in reality, it was living in a dream world a dream world created in the form of a lie I was keeping to avoid a truth. The red pill of truth came, and the pain of that truth along with it. (For those who wonder what was in the red pill? It was and is Lois!) Not because I was ready to be in the truth, but because of the lies that covered the truth became toxic to me inside of myself.
Who would love me if this is the truth about me? Who would accept me if this is the truth about me? When I told my whole truth, the truth about the truth became what I was not giving to myself. As I found this as my truth in being, something miraculous happened. I no longer was seeking myself in others and what the connection to them was. I was seeking a deeper love within myself to find a whole place of truth of love that I am never without, accepting my faults, accepting my pains, the pain I did to others, and ultimately forgiving the truth about the truth I was hiding from myself all along.
We call to the energy of karma in all things to include what we give to ourselves. Yet what if you gave yourself the truth about the truth, not making it about the details, but what the energy of that truth has to give you. YES there will be pain and plenty of it, but without this pain the truth about the truth will not birth you the true birthing of love you truly are in truth! Make this about the truth you are to yourself, and you will always radiate nothing but love in the truth. You will not hide from yourself which is going to always make you hide from others. You are more inside of here.. How is this truth hiding from you?
Beyond all things material you are more enveloped in truth that you came here with, to include the love you came into the world with, whether you have had a rocky existence up to any point and haven’t healed. The truth about the truth is that you are LOVE and can give it to yourself to give love unlimited truth in being!
Lois & Clark