Can you write anything about the consciousness shifts that may go on during what could perhaps be final reuniting phase? what I am experiencing could be some sort of awakening symptoms, or it could be related to feeling “him” more and more IN me… when we first got together 8 years ago, it was like I entered another dimension for a year– I was having major energetic shifts in my body when I meditated at night… and my awareness softened, and the outer wold faded away….
This is sort of a “cry for help”– as something deep inside of me is telling me that the wackiness I am feeling in my physical body (like I am submerged under water), and the odd-ness I feel in my awareness, are actually some sort of final phase of surrender, or merging… AND, I KNOW you can’t tell me what is true for me, but please, if I have been at this journey for over eight years, should I be at the point in our separation where I am thriving in my life?– OR, for you, or others, has there been a point, closer to full Union, where everything feels a bit haywire in my body, and my consciousness feels pretty close to crazy if I am not focusing on the love I feel for him?
like, it’s not like I miss him, or need him, or feel sad in my heart for him like I used to… it’s mostly just this awareness of focusing my love on him, or not focusing my love on him (ie, doubting this TF connection)– AND, more and more, it seems like anytime I do spend in doubt energy i feel close to crazy/or totally blocked up in my life- like, almost like I need an occupational therapist to even get up and clean a spoon off to get my son ice cream, or make his lunch……
and, if what I am feeling has nothing to do with the Twin Flame journey- I can handle that too!:)
Dear Almost Awake….
The consciousness of not being without your twin has been titled as this is your life… this feels singular and yet it is not.. You are no more apart from your twin than you are conscious of what you can see inside of your twin. The times spent being inside yourself is the place that you have always been with your twin. The moment you become quiet inside and feel them you send them a vibration whether they know it or not.. the more unconscious the twin is the more they won’t however as you find this as your peace the more serene in the connection that it will awaken ones twin.
We spend our time here… looking in a mirror and have a very abstract view where we only see the outside.. we can’t see what is driving our animation or it’s place of origin that connects us to what is always going to be there through this door or by truly seeing what the inside of us is asking us to pay closer attention to. As a conscious being.. you have a place inside you that derives energy. We made it science and then are still baffled by what the inside of us could teach us..
When we are connected to our twin my friend… such as a beginning phase in your case it was a year.. It was that you consistently stayed in the moment.. you didn’t seek time where time was only standing still and you were creating art as it were. You can have these moments because now you know that when you were in them you were in a state of no mind.. no mind is a very powerful awakener… It will not seek any way of thinking only the way of being. This brings out a beautiful you that is always lurking when your thoughts have captured you and held you hostage. As we aspire to let go.. what is in letting go… Letting go means no longer seeking yourself in time.. whether it be what was or will be.. It is what truly brought the energy of our connection to be stronger to one another.. I held it and didn’t seek her any longer I just stayed in the place where our connection was most powerful the place of no mind.. The mind needs or wants in human.. yet beyond human the connection doesn’t need or want for anything it just is… It is most beautiful in this experience for it doesn’t need a choice to do this or be that.. It blossoms a conscious state of truth that keeps you connected.
The voice in the head dwindled and it didn’t seek anything for it was now immersed in knowing… I knew without knowing that I knew… This magical feeling deep within me kept me so peaceful and full of love I revealed in all it’s glory and all it’s passion… I felt free…
I found the place where before death and after birth consumed me.. and I surrended to it.. I realized I could give the most incredible amount of love without seeking an opposite.. No need for a return just as breathing was giving of me I was giving this of love in all things… Euphoric was this state of being.. and when I would see or talk to her.. It vibrated in a place inside of her and me that kept calling to the connection itself. Although when this happened there was still much for us to experience and go through in trials as for thinking it always found a backdoor and another and in when it was time for a pure communion in union we had to be washed this thinking and to see it more clearly in each other for it to finally be something we both had to love about each other… This door doesn’t open until you find that core place of being without time. You see how the energy interrupts connection in human and can see how that interruption doesn’t effect beyond human nor how it makes it into a life situation that separates anything…
One day we all will stop thinking before we die…to die before we die… although this is becoming more and more present in moments it is very rare to find someone who doesn’t live entirely in their mind… When it does though this will be the place where peace and connection to all the lost loves will find there true connection…
The submersion of being under the water my friend… when I would dream during my awakening I was at the place where the tree of life was and was filled with a big open field and an ocean… night after night I would go there and wait… It was not before to long that I started to become attached to going there in my slumber… Little did I realize how much I was being given messages from being…. It wasn’t until I dreamed I was in the middle of the ocean did I start to feel I was just going to drown… I went to the bottom of the ocean my friend… as I did I was shown a life review of how I interacted with everything… As I would go deeper and deeper… I could feel the tree of life and it’s roots of what was being shown to me in energy… how the water of the ocean was growing the tree… and how the stillness of what was deep in the center when I finally got there I felt pure life that was lifeless… I was home… I remember that night I didn’t wake for almost 14 hours yes prior to the dream I cried for what seemed like days… I knew something greater was trying to show me something.. when I woke I was no longer hearing what I had to do that day or what I needed to do or wanted to do… It left me as though I was completely left to drown in the need and wants and they were removed… I felt the vibrations in my heart that I could hear her even laughing, talking to herself in her head.. I could feel everything… I did rebirth in my rebirth. You see I was holding everything inside my friend… I had lost her inside my head which is exactly what I had to do to never lose her again… We make up a make up of what we think someone is… this was a false sense of self I needed to let go of on top of all the lies I told myself for all the reasons my mind told me I had to keep inside. It was there that I found my root.. all of the root.. as pure as it was.. it was still an infant.. so I began again… with death inside of me I found the peace and calmness that death brought me by not seeking myself in a thought process any longer.
Yes I had hurt her to a point that by all rights we in human would never be together… but the truth was that I told the truth and let the cards fall where they were. This was very powerful and immeasurable in pain.. but that pain was always chasing me it was my thoughts that created the suffering to have some pain now and save some for later… so I was always hurting myself with my own lies.. we all do this as a way to get past something whether it be a great pain that we experienced from our parents as we grew into the world or how we interpreted something and started rebelling never seeing that we created an energy that was based on what was always outside of us… I wish there was magic that could take away this cause and effect for if we could truly see this without thinking it away and embrace it we would all endure the great pain that truly wakes you to your truth.
If I would have not found that place my friend… every action that I have experienced since this would have made me unconscious again.. but when you are in the deep of the now in connection to your twin you can see the energy they are trapped within and only through the pure compassion that you possess can you keep this energy in you to infect them… I am not sure if any of this made sense to you… but if you dig deep you will find that there is a truth to the truth that you are never not connected only the mind makes it this way because of what we haven’t seen in a human mind to experience the connection in truth that the voice in the head is going to tell you why it’s not….
The voice in the head is what needs removed here… Your breaking through it won’t matter where you go, You do however continue to go inside to find what you think will make you sane for sane is what the mind is saying you need… Yet it is only more food for the mind and not the connection…. Stay in the moment for that is where you are basking in the glow of the break through.. whether it is with your twin in physical or not.. This one thing brings you through first in connection! Without it… You will need to lose your mind to find yourself!
Love deeply for that is where you are Awake!