When I was 7 years old, I experienced an absent father in my existence, he was traveling more and was no longer there day to day, soon month to month, then eventually year after year. This was something that, as a male, I would repeat when things seemed difficult. Yet this was my father, my blood was his, and his way of loving me unconditionally was felt in this way! It is as it is… it’s runner energy!
This could easily be sparked by any form of rejection. For example, watching the pains my mother went through and not being able to help her through any of it because I was wounded myself. You see, learning how to run from what you love is actually an act of love. As a 7, 8, or 9 year old, I thought that it was love to lose your father at an early age. This has nothing to do with your Twin but everything to do with finding your twin and running. If you have experienced rejection or abandonment at an early age, especially from those that love you unconditionally, this will be what you will experience in this connection that needs to heal from inside yourself. You had to create a message inside that said something to you in order for you to understand why unconditional love is that way in who is connected to you.
Something is wrong with you… but nothing is wrong with you in truth. Just your thoughts about it are skewed. It will happen to you or you may not even see it intentionally. You will expect them to leave thus keeping a thought process inside that will create the permission for them to feel you disconnect from yourself as you did to get through what happened to you! “Everyone leaves me” says the voice in the head. In this connection, this can be so great and your love is so pure that the voice in the head is more audible and more on purpose with protecting you or so it seems. You are not actually protected, you will be disillusioned with the other’s behavior and even become protective of the energy they show you as it is not something you told yourself you deserve. You will claim to love them more than anyone ever and then say “I don’t love myself”. This can never be, since the runner has a voice in their head saying that if their needs are not met, it will create a path to allow the other polarity a way out or find a path to allow the self to get out!
What can change this is your absence and your exposure of all thought processes. Connection always creates love—it never creates disconnection or hate. This connection is communion and communion is communication in motion. If this is not what you see inside this connection, it is inside your head which is telling you that to be vulnerable is to be weak! Is there any truth to you that vulnerability is weakness? Find the thoughts that are false and expose them with your connection without making them responsible for them but finally seeing that the responsibility to forgive this within is something that has been your companion before the connection. It is only being brought up to the surface because you can change this and because it wants you to stand in the truth.
Remember: Being conscious of one’s behavior is being conscious of your own behavior. If you are triggered by something outside you, this gives you the ability to go unconscious which does neither one in this connection any good until one comes back to consciousness will this truly be seen in what the mind will create based on running which is rejection and abandonment of the self first. Be conscious when compassionate listening is what is needed. Being in the blame is not the same as listening with love to what is truly being done.
Lois and Clark
Sherry and Lee