I don't know who I am…. The open door to how you become a union!
Dear Twins Flames,
Because of the circumstances I find myself in I have had no choice but to speak to him about it as he is involved. When I do speak to him about it, he becomes very defensive and says it feels like I am blaming him, I am not blaming him. It isn’t anyones fault but it does need to be resolved. My twin doesn’t live with me, however he has his post delivered to this address because of his mail going missing. I have received letters that I have someone living with me because of the mail. I need to send evidence to prove that he lives at another address. This has proven difficult as all his mail is sent to mine. So he has had to contact his landlord for conformation, but its felt like I have had to prompt him to do so. This situation has been rather stressful for me as it affects my children, our home and financial situation too, no one is to blame for this but I am trying to get all the information together to send it off. This morning I spoke about it to him and he closed up, comparing me to ex’s that moan at him.
It feels like we bury our heads in the sand, it got to the point where I have been reluctant to speak about things because I dont want him thinking that im pressurizing him or forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to. I have realized that I should be able to freely speak about things without worrying over if it will cause a problem, I have done this for almost all of my life, never truly speaking because I am ridiculed if I do, I suppose the situation has pushed me into doing just that…
What you are experiencing is the egoic nature of being.. This realm as it were always causes the most difficult of circumstances. You see it is because we follow thought pattern it never allows the development of something greater. (Something greater is the same is the greater intelligence within you, your heartbeat, your lungs filling with air, being completely present to all things surrounding you in the moment.) As you can sit and contemplate your thoughts about what starts to bother you, you lose this place in being thus losing the connection to your twin, thus making him responsible for your not being able to connect.) This unintentional act serves only the purpose to point you to the truth about the connection. It says what the mind can absorb or act within is the energy being done to keep you from each other. Let’s take the thoughts about the mail coming and what it has done to you in a concern factor. You say it has become stressful to the children, your home and financial situation. No this is not about those things in fact those things are symptoms of the root that is creating conflict. This conflict in it’s truth would ask you to sit with your children and share your truth about what you feel, whether it be hurt, angry, scared, etc… Then allow through compassionate listening to let them share what they truly feel. Children are a very illuminating truth to what they feel about anything. Depending on the age they are in the world of form and can show you the individual design we have created in which we don’t connect.
So where these truths will place you is this… What would it be to not bury your head in the sand? What would it be like to let go of all the material content and just forgive in this moment as this moment is all you ever have. Forgiveness in truth is giving up the hope that the past could be any different in this moment. When you give this truth to yourself you are opening a door to a deeper foundation of love to yourself and to your twin. Becoming his true friend, allowing him the place where you become silent and compassionately listen to him with no judgements gives him space to see himself any place you keep bringing a past or a future to in this listening will only be a mind interacting with another mind. Remember the only way the mirror is truly in effect is when your able to clear your mind and keep it open without content, you allow the mind to create for you. This when done without reason is when you inside of the truth comes to your twin and to yourself. More so for yourself, you will smile because your sense of self is no longer under attack by your mind or his. This is done in being in yourself as you haven’t created thoughts to keep you in the constant pain of attack by content the mind keeps you in survival and attack mode which is pain created by a mental position. It takes great love which you possess to find the silence of the mind within you. These things that seem painful are only painful in thought which that energy has to travel somewhere, it is as powerful as long as the thought process has the place in keep the fire in you going. I hope this spoke to you inside as it is within you. The union of twins needs this truth to birth and rebirth the truth of why you are here. realize your truth my friend.. it is the pathway!
Is this why it doesn’t feel comfortable for me to be in this frame of mind, I am not used to feeling like this. My children are still young to understand so I cant speak to them about it.
So what you are saying to me is stay in the moment? To not think about the past or future? Have you got to the point now on your journey with your twin that nothing on the outside affects you? Am i standing in the way of myself here? One thing i realized not long ago is that it is me that runs…my twin just mirrors that..but I am the one that runs from myself. As soon as I allow my ego to get involved I drift away from myself. ..i then become confused…lost and unable to find myself… however each time this has happened I have found myself again.the love for myself is deeper than it was before…and so is the connection, is this the pattern of twins? Do we just need to let go of any material content in this experience and live within the connection regardless of the outside situation?
You stated it is effecting your children is this not something they can hide easily? Are they showing signs and you are interpreting these signs as a meaning that they are effected?
As twins within a union it has become easier to speak to each other and say my ego is in effect and here is what it wants me to stand in as a mental position. An example, the energy of being insecure will seek out different ways to view each other and make this about the other rather than make this about our own mind dominant nature. This becomes very aware of itself as a being that has either become very strong in stance due to abandonment issues, self esteem issues, the need to be right about being wrong.. etc. This becomes very easy to see if you see yourself in the mirror. You can’t hold your twin responsible for things you can’t see in yourself.
Being the runner is vital to see your actions in all things, you are still carrying the same process of thought from circumstances and actions that are still ringing in such a way that you make it a choice to do what you have always done rather than stand in the truth and not move from it.
The confusion energy is there to give the mind food to keep you guessing and as food it has a shelf life greater than you this is to keep you from your truth. It will say he doesn’t care, or I am not good enough cause of his actions. This confusion in energy does something very challenging cause you are not allowing the voice of your twin combined without your own to be heard. This gives a vibration so it becomes the push or pull of what you feel inside and then your mind steps in as a translator to view from the place where the individual you exist in ego it has it’s mental position that needs to be right and keeps you in survival. The only way to remove this or give it less power is to be ok with losing yourself and unable to find yourself. For it wants to have the content of being yourself to be able to keep the mental position in ego to keep you suffering. Do you understand this?
Losing yourself would you be of more love reinventing yourself or do you feel what you have grasped in content is only keeping you in a cycle of suffering. Do you see what you say is losing yourself gives you a mental concept of going into a way of thinking that keeps the suffering alive. Is it your choice to suffer? Do you want you or your twin to suffer? Do you see how listening deeply to each other with no content helps you to suffer less? This is the path of twins it’s awakening is only as strong as you are able to continue to be ok with being lost and unable to find yourself. This is when doors open and gifts emerge.