Illusion of the truth… Twin Flames
Hi. I never thought I would be writing to superman someday. It was the first movie I ever watched as a kid. Guess sometimes life brings you back to where one started.
I read your blogs on the TF connection and it is one of the deepest and most evaluative (profoundly so) of the connection between twin flames. Your explanation of the love and ego dynamics helped ease my heart pain greatly and I learnt the importance of ‘centering’ my self to the present moment at all times. Otherwise I think I will soon die of a heart failure 🙂
I stopped questioning the TF love and accepted most aspects of this unconditional love although I met him briefly and only twice. What a time that was – I learnt a lot both of the self and of love and have become ‘deeper’ in all my interactions with other people. I met him 5 months ago but I am unable to forget what I went through, what I felt for him and the intense connection and feelings I had for this stranger after he left. But he refused to engage/meet with me anymore saying that going away might mitigate the intense feelings he had for a married woman. He simply does not want to communicate with me (and for me that would have been more than anything I could ask for today – just a message/email line). Now we are totally cut off. I do not know how to re-communicate with him. I must admit I asked him to bugger off and I was very rude. That was back when I had no clue what was going on. With time I’ve become ‘wiser’ or ‘sobered’ up should I say. I feel quite Zen these days 🙂
But all this leaves me thinking that maybe my “twin” is my mind’s greatest imagination, a coy to set me up in this transformation of the self. I (feel) do not deserve this pain and want to get rid of this every day (and thoughts of him) and do not enjoy the heart pains anymore. I am not happy anymore because now I “know” something and that knowing is an illusion maybe. It confuses me and my current relationship. It is gradually altering the meaning of my whole existence. I was willing to accept the TF in my life as he is (even as a ‘friend’ ) and despite my circumstance (being married).
Do I have a twin or is it just all in my mind – an illusion?
I reconciled with the truth (that I fell in love with someone else other than my husband) and am learning a lot about love and its many facets and what love truly is in this intense and unconditional form. I asked for it subconsciously I know – for something more in life and something more than our existence and now this. It is only after I told my husband about this intense encounter that the pain subsided (a lot) and I came our of my state of numbness but the residues of the pain and probably a yearning for such deep and intense love remains …
This love is different and all my own answers does not respond to the “why” questions as for me this is still an illusion (as he does not communicate). I do not understand why it happened other than learning more about self-awareness, deep love and intense connections and life’s profundity…taking me into the depths of the energy realm and re-incarnation…but all this at what cost? Why? I am not a healer and I do not care what we become after we die. What’s the purpose of this then? Worse I do not know anymore what I feel for my husband who is deeply in love with me – though before which I was content and quite “happy” in this relationship.
A very free-spirited person today is “chasing/yearning” something that does not exist probably or is an illusion and the object of my love might never acknowledge even my existence in this lifetime. Then what’s the point? Isn’t such yearning a selfish act? I would have all spent time and deeps thoughts in this life on something that is futile at the end of my life’s journey… for I do not see this pain (of separation) will ever go away… I do not understand why we have to experience something so intense and so painful …when we are all going to die and turn to dust or another energy orb.
Thanks so much for your huge contribution to society and your amazing and thoughtful work. would love to hear if you have something to say to me – or you might have mentioned in various sections of your blog but I might have missed.
Why does the universe conjure such a tragic comedy?
Much love and appreciation.
P.S: I did get a sense of what I can do with this experience while I was writing this email…but then again – what’s the point of the sense?
You have stated here the core of what it is that you are experiencing. Reconcile in the truth of twin flames or denying it? This is what we all experience when meeting our twin, we are forced to see this as truth and we need a lie to keep the pain very much alive. Here is what you didn’t say in this post and as to what it means to endure pain.
Coming into meeting my twin flame what I felt for my current relationship is now damaged. It is broken and I do or don’t love my husband the same as I once did, not because I was unfaithful but because the feeling from my twin has been embraced. I know there is something beyond the love I experience with my husband. I would even settle for just being able to talk to him every day as friends and still be married to a man who loves me deeply and I will not be able to return that depth to the man I am married to. This is not something that is easy and it is not something that is fair. You are a good person you have a very beautiful soul. The question is….To endure this and realize this do I let go of my husband and truly see if this connection is something I can have?
This is the mind and the ego controlling the suffering you are enduring. You can’t see this because of incessant thinking and painful choices that need to be met.
This quote is where this points…
“True pain is the state of the ego’s need to stand in the state of suffering over a truth you don’t wish to face, not because this truth is painful but the lie you have to live will be for all the wrong reasons.” Clark Kent (Now)
In this you can embrace the truth, or stand outside of it to circle a lie. If your twin came to you, and wanted to be with you while you are married, would this be the open door to being unfaithful and deny your feelings?
I am not stating this as a matter of being easy or hard, I am stating this as a way to state the truth sets you free. The truth is the knife that cuts through pain as a way to endure how we give birth to something beautiful. Just as any birth my friend, not to destroy ,or damage what is current in your existence. You are now poised with living a truth or living a lie. You know that something deeper in love exist. You can say, “I can stand in this or I can run from it.”
To run is painful, to run is suffering, How can you see something beautiful when your mind is keeping you in chaos. Do you feel your sense of self will be destroyed if you accept and embrace the truth? This is poised to that place in you that says this is an illusion. For to stand in this truth would mean what exactly? Is the mental projection showing you a pain you will cause yourself and others to stand in it (This truth)? If this is the case, do you see the pain you endure to yourself not doing so?
This is the mirror of your twin, it is showing you what you are within, not what they have placed you within. In other words you are in a role, playing a role of I can act as though I have no true feelings which is a lie, and your ability to play this role will be played out as long as you can keep up the lie inside yourself.
How do you keep up playing the role is the question? How much content will the mind need to keep, to state you have to keep up this role? You will even endure painful thoughts reading this, as to search for what a twin is and why it is painful is already showing you that you want to embrace this connection rather than deny it’s truth!
How well do you compassionately listen to yourself will be where this will ultimately awaken you, or push you further into unconscious thinking and blaming. This is a false sense of being. The core of the love you possess is now surfacing from a place deep within that is going to get stronger not because it knows what you are going to go through, but because being contained is not an option. (What this means is that you will dream of what you are not getting and hold your current connection responsible for it.)
Stand in this truth. Many find this connection then feel it is best to contain it, or walk away from it.
This is the beautiful truth! You can’t walk away from your twin flame without playing a role in what you know as relationships. This to include the relationship with yourself! This connection although elusive is about truth! Runners, Chasers this is what the running and chasing is about. Not about the other person, it is about how you will run from yourself. This will point to when you first were able to live inside of a lie and be ok with yourself. How do you break this cycle is dependent upon how deep you can do your work.
Doing your work means facing the truth about yourself in the world within your soul in the world of form.
My friend the pain and separation is what you are doing to yourself, and your twin is only showing you what you already do to yourself in their actions. This can be absorbed and then healed. It heals through the pain of truth not in avoidance of it.
Love deeply, we are here, we are listening,
Lois and Clark