Pain of birth into connection….
The story is…. What you have to endure in connection happens to you at birth. The pain of what is your reality grows in you from things that happen to you, and how you will attach what is thinking about pain to the core pain itself. The first experience of pain is always something that comes from outside of us, whether it be rejection, whether it be abandonment! The act itself creates independence in the mind and will doom you until you see the depth of what you have said inside yourself for these things to truly take place.
Ok, still scratching your head? Well let’s look at what pain is to the core! We all have a story to our pain and when the story can continue to be told through new experiences or repeated patterns of something that happened to us, we will give the story in this case food for the pain to feed on. It is always trying to show you this by the thought patterns that will happen to you.
Remember the statement you don’t happen to thinking, thinking happens to you! Yes, this is actually what causes the pain to feed. Being conscious of this is the first step in awareness and also of awakening. The dark night of the soul would dictate that you are becoming aware of your thinking that is happening to you. Yet instead we try and think it away because this in truth is the very thing that is happening to you so to immerse yourself more into thinking, which gives you more of the pain rather than making it less until you find a means to manipulate yourself in thinking to think it away.. Yes this is very possible and is something we don’t see because we don’t see the deeper truth about thinking and it’s need to meet what we endure in it…
When I went through the dark night of the soul, the pain was absolutely excruciating. I didn’t want the pain or couldn’t make the pain stop. The truth was my thinking was keeping this alive, it wasn’t that I wanted it to go away, for this to be true, I would have had to see deeper into my thoughts. If it was something I didn’t elect then my thinking would have changed consciously. Yet instead of seeing the truth, I remained unconscious which to keep thinking over and over the same things is unconscious. I let the tears of that pain flow into what would have seem to be a ocean of the self that I was flooded with when it came to pain. The pain itself would be the salt in the water as it were and it was outlined in the salt and would be of each thought I would experience. How do you cleanse such a thing right?
This happened to me a majority of the time, cause that was the problem all in itself I was completely addicted (Yes the word addiction is being used here to point to the problem of why we don’t see thinking as we should as a human being with a powerful human condition.) I was addicted to thinking about the story of what was or what will be and never focused on what is! It was non acceptance of the present moment which was the only place I could embrace my pain without the story thus clearing the salt or thoughts that kept the cycle going! Yes, the mind or ego has no use for you in the present moment unless it can take you out of time which is to make you think about what was or what will be.
The mind can’t truly function as we need to without time it doesn’t know how!
This has many things that have kept us from ever reaching the point of living a life of joy and harmony it is the static in the connection that is so loud we can’t see it. The mind can make you the subject of many things to include emotional pain, rejection and abandonment of the self.
Your pain is your outcome to the pains you have held onto before you even knew what intimate unconditional love was. Does your love have conditions? This points to its removal! You will unconsciously seek out this pain and suffer. The more you suffer the more your mind creates what the pain is. It is how we solve problems or think we can solve problems.
When I was trying to be in this connection and trying to make her responsible for my emotional state which is to say we make others responsible for something only we can be responsible for. We now will create permissions inside the mind to not pay attention to our own intuition. You suffer in this as you would a child who wants attention and when we don’t get it we will act out! This even happens with conversations we experience in the mind when we set expectations with others. It creates the emotional body that will find a clear path to the pain body we are in.
For this to occur we make resistance to the present moment into a place we resist and in that resistance we have to give the mind all the attention and make this about what the mind needs and wants and what our soul can experience is a curse of sorts.
Pain will find a way to feed on pain and this comes in a story that keeps our emotional state inside the story the mind gives us!
Is this a sane way to live? Do you ignore your intuition and allow the mind to manipulate you into being more open to an outside truth that ultimately will be a lie you have to endure within yourself? Do you see that this is a means to totally keep yourself from the truth about the ego or mind and it’s dominant way of saying you are no more able to escape unconscious behavior than you are to elect to be conscious which is a choice to be when you elect to be in the present moment.
Definition of insanity is to repeat the same behavior over and over again and expect a different result. How could you repeat anything if you truly embraced the truth. The NOW never repeats only the mind does in the NOW which keeps you from NOW..
The question then becomes how do you find your true self if you are living entirely in the mind? The answer is does your mind use you or do you use it?
The mind can’t function in the now… Only you can!!!!!!