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What I said again… No one hears me, no one is listening…. Jan 11, 2008

There is a place where you hear everything… a place where you can hear not only the heartbeat of another… but can hear the path of the the footsteps they are on… you can see the light side of them and the dark side of them.  You can understand their pains… their happiness and even understand the place where time stands still in them.  You can find that space in them and join them.  You can find that you will be no longer be alone in this place.. You can see each other in a place that only you and that soul were meant to see each other… you can touch each other, see each other, hear each other, breathe each other in a place where time and space have no place being.
It is here that you start to grow… no longer alone but with each others thoughts… each others feelings… it is not rehearsed… nor it is something you guessed… it is this place that life truly begins… you can share each others laughter.. You can share each other’s touch… and a kiss seems to impact you for lifetimes… not hidden… but shared between you for the whole world to feel… it doesn’t end there… it just grows… and it surrounds those that are within the lives of those that have found it… it doesn’t teach… it doesn’t ignore… it grows at a rapid rate and it expresses itself in a place that very few get to know and experience. It is a love that had never been… it is a love that never was supposed to happen… it is not magic… it is not make believe… it is real… your soul sings to the heavens and you then realize that it isn’t a calling… or even still the same message you feel you were given to say why you are here.  Some believe that they are here for a higher purpose… some feel that they are here to make up for things happen that change events in time… yet something out there in my days of dreaming and nights of dreaming has said something else… there aren’t enough of us out here to realize what we are here for…

I am here to tell you that some things in life are here for you to love unconditionally…. you are to love with all your heart… broken or unbroken.. Those that seem childlike and unable to obtain past the pain are those that love the strongest… those that can see the light are the ones who can send messages even when you think you are done.  You are supposed to finally allow yourself to hear what is being said loud and clear…  I felt once that love was the answer to all my misery… love is the quest to finding the center of that misery… once found with that which you find the answer too.. Is more than you can imagine… I still feel even after starting my quest no one hears me… no one is listening… I feel that way because it is true… some souls walk the earth waiting for someone to finish their sentences… we run when we find it… and we let every excuse in the world to show us that we are not hearing it.. Again no one is listening… no one hears us… I have merged now with this soul who gave me a chance to understand what is in me… this is only a beginning of something that goes much deeper than the heart of humans… some finally understand destiny…some can finally understand the journey of what is deep and can help you to finally see what is in front of you…

Do you make the ultimate choice or do you settle?  Do you agree what cards life has dealt you is what you need to carry…? No… life is much deeper than what you give it credit for… we all die…. Some die before their time… some die after our time has expired… but then some still live when they die… only to realize that something more is what they were supposed to be doing… and very few see rebirth.. Some can actually grow from it… not at the pace we all like… but they do… and when they come from their cocoon they are as bright and beautiful as we have ever seen… how do you know who that is… is it the words they speak… is it the time of events that tells you to listen to something you can’t hear… you can hear when it happens… search your soul… run or hide or ignore… I have been speaking words lately from the soul of me that tells me still… even with doubt that no one hears me… no one is listening… I go deeper… and yet I stay inside waiting for someone to join me… alone… no one hears me… no one is listening….  Some pain that you carry is just that… you carry… all alone… by yourself… no one not even a guide can help you to hear… you go deep… you wait… and you will never hear the others that are even deeper than you… patience… patience is even lost… no one hears me… no one is listening… find what you can hold onto and just listen… and hear what is said… something close may trigger you… something sincere may make you hold on… hold on too????  Why??? For what???   Listen to the soul of the mind’s eye… and the wings you hear are not of the angel of love… they couldn’t be could they? Could you understand that the raindrops could be reversed not just slow and allow you to hear just each drop… but reverse those drops to sound like any music you chose to hear…that the illusion of being in a place where time and space didn’t exist only be a myth… you can see it… who else can??? Who even knows what I am talking about… I keep going and I can keep going… and feel lonely and feel empty every word that can be written from within… come save me… come touch me.. Could tell me you hear me… are you listening… say what you mean… and mean what you say…. Lost… only to live as ordinary as a life can be.. cause some souls can live that way… live that way without remorse without regret… without any emotion… they don’t hear me… they are not listening…say something anything.. just don’t run…don’t hide.. tell me I am wrong… tell me what I am feeling isn’t real… say something… anything… pain…. and more pain… wait…. 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 1 decade.. waiting… how can wait prolong what should be.. not something I understand.. pain is waiting.. pain is not living.. but I will if I must.. I don’t have a choice… pain…. sadness… no smile… only half existence… nothing whole till you wake me… wake me and hold me… and don’t look back…

4 Comments on “What I said again… No one hears me, no one is listening…. Jan 11, 2008

  1. Your evolution is impressive, dear friend! You were dealing with multiple tremendous loss at the time. You have emerged & have inspired all that reads your words. Thank you for reminding us that searching from within leaves us numb, going through others to find ourselves leaves us with meaningless encounters, intellectual masturbation leaves us stagnant, and cognitive dissonance leaves us empty.

  2. It gets even far more disturbing as I continue to share what happened my friend.. Your words of encouragement have me still sharing yet not posting it all at this time. It has a place that was dark that allowed the light of my presence to descend on it. I was even that which you spoke but even worse I kept it alive through my pain, through my non acceptive nature that was taught. I was telling myself I was more.. but in all actuality I was only masking myself with more of a ego that seemed to be taking over. It it painful as long as I kept it growing as though I knew it all… I in fact knew a new identity created in my pain.. It is the surrender that will come that will show pain in form and separate from what we are by illusion! Thank you once again for your opening of my eyes to that very thing from what you have experienced in yourself! Amazing you are!

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