Healing series April 2014: The truth is the TRUTH!

 

Polyamory truth

Healing series… Evolution of truth!
In the dominant side of thinking, we often have a voice that says things to us! This thinking is of course a protective nature or so we see it as being a protective nature that says things are ok, or not ok. When this thinking occurs, we of course can see that the truth can be as messy!  This say’s somewhere inside that a lie is ok.   It could be that you have to hide something about yourself! It could be that you are already rejecting, abandoning, or playing a mental record of something that once was. All of those are lies in a sense.

If you are rejected, do you make it ok to reject yourself? If you said no, then wouldn’t there be no discomfort on what you say rejection is. For you are holding yourself, and don’t need validation of any kind to tell you that you have been dismissed, or removed.

What about Abandonment? If someone has abandoned you, and you are hurt, and are in suffering from something that was long ago, are you trapped in lying? The answer should be yes! Yes as in the present moment you didn’t abandon yourself and now don’t make someone else responsible for it as time makes no difference you can give yourself the love that was missing in all moments and your sense of self is not going to suffer in the present moment.

When you evolve in truth, you evolve within truth. You see the pitfalls that can occur, come from not seeing the path the truth wants you to come to. If you see actions of energy outside you that you say can be repeated, and that it is still happening isn’t this in itself a lie?

In this radio discussion listed from this past monday’s healing series our dear friends Josh (a polyamorous male) with his wife Karen (a monogamous woman) shared how their truth about who they were became revealed and how deep the truth melted them to who they are together.
This was a very powerful understanding of how standing in your truth can give you the greatest love you ever experienced and how it continues to grow!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/04/21/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series

 

Love deeply,

Lois and Clark
aka Sherry and Lee

Healing Series: Two halves of a whole is a???

 

soul wholeness

A lie that shatters to hide your soul…  The search for wholeness!
I am not whole without you… I am whole when I am with you… This is how simple a lie can begin… It is how simple that a lie can break you down inside…
This way of thinking has a specific truth to tell you, yet it will escape you more than anything we get to experience as a human being. When you are empty inside and meet someone outside you, and you see them with such a feeling you translate this feeling with love.. Love in this sense is not derived in energy to allow the other person to feel it, for how could they you started out by saying I am empty, or you are saying with them you are finally whole…

To be whole because of another person is the lie.. This lie if hiding can be the truth about why any relationship you have can change from love to hate. It can show you both in an instant. Here is something to ponder.. When you look at someone you love and they are saying that they love you, how does it then turn to attack, criticize, blaming, etc… This is a very hurtful place in love. You want them to return to what they always were giving you in the whole that you feel inside, and as each time this happens, and continues to get greater and greater you can see that something somehow has caused you to feel the emptiness that was once there before. This is all egoic in nature of course and it is that what you feel by saying the other makes you whole is a huge responsibility for anyone to carry. You never see it this way for what you do see is that what was once there is now gone somehow. You hurt inside and you feel the void yet something in you says you can get it back.. and then if it continues you find that you are only seeking for more of the same in pain. This cycle of love/hate is almost unbearable for the glimpses of love from the start to become further and further apart.

It is almost as though anything you do will activate the ego in this way, you try to be even more loving, something comes and says you are not going to get it, not because of the empty place inside you but because the pain that you have is now activated again and the other who was to make you whole has seen it and started to share it with you. This becomes almost impossible to endure. For even when you make up another thought is about to enter them, or you, that says they are keeping you from wholeness in some way.

When someone says I don’t know who I am anymore, it is an act of violence on the self that says something has shifted in them making them think they are less somehow. They don’t feel the same anymore, they don’t act the same anymore, and you are now caught from what was once in whole as it was in the beginning and realize you no longer can keep enduring this, but you stay not because of the wholeness but because what has become normal behavior gives an expectation and a incompleteness that is complete in the mind of the ego. It says you are all these bad things, and that no one else will want you, and this is as whole as your going to get. It even can be based in material circumstances, emotional circumstances and it will give you what you fear, what you don’t want, what you can’t fathom. It even will activate the other person to start seeking something else. Someone to cover up the little bits of emptiness that have can be covered by anything even if it is just sex.

As I am explaining all of this, I wanted to go back to the very thing that was said in the beginning…. The lie itself that caused all of this.. I am not whole without you.. This is so far from any truth we can’t see it, we keep this lie and this way of being to keep us in cycle of love/hate where love truly isn’t present at all! How can it be? You are whole, not because I said so, but because within you, you have a living body that is sparked by something that was whole to begin with. It gave you purpose, it gives you the power to be present and all you have to do is go inside to see it yourself. It doesn’t take much after this realization. that you can be as you are already….

You are whole dear being!

Love deeply,

Clark

Healing series: How do I stand in my truth?

writing on the wall

 

How do I stand in my truth?
One of the most uncomfortable challenges of being human is seeing the truth vs. a lie.. We are born into this world without experiencing both positive and negative, so to not understand how we learn to tell the truth or a lie is unknown to us…
As we are infants we see energy we see those that show us love, some show us like and some show us something else.. As we come out of infancy we experience things more common in communication, Bobby is hungry. Mommy, Daddy and there are a list of words… Then as we get just a few years more.. The things we see are explained or not explained.. This part is where the lies begin, we are told we are to young to understand, or words are spelled out in front of us to exclude us from things. Or the energy is offset and we have no explanation why. We in turn start to say this energy is something we caused.. Therein lies the first of many lies.. As young as we are we start to say things inside. We don’t see it and don’t comprehend it, we just know that we are seeking the unknown and when we don’t have words or are shut down for any reason we know that we are experiencing something we now make something about something we are feeling on the inside.

Depending on what others say to us or how their energy is to us, we hear a voice inside that starts to say things that mostly leave us without a purpose or an identity in purpose. We have a mind that starts to generate this and state that and it really never is that someone says something hateful to us, we say it to ourselves…
Now as you can imagine this becomes based in a space that causes us to view everything skewed.. Is there truth to what you see? Not really, it depends on what you are surrounded by when it comes to understanding the actions of others, whether it be your father, your mother, your siblings or just in general other kids.. If you are bullied it can even be magnified even more.. This lie is a lie hurting others because of the lies that say inside that violence or bullying is a way of being in the world. Picking on someone who hurts worse than you do, it is all filled with lies.. Lies that you are not worthy of love, you are not much to anyone, no one can be nice to you, you are disabled from love… This is all the myriad of lies we have.. It starts with our first form of abandonment. rejection, abuse, punishment, confusion with no real explanation that creates a place to understand the actions. You see it can go way deeper than what I am even stating here. Broken trust in what anything is for what it is, because you know love within you!

You know it yet it doesn’t show itself to you, because of the things you have within you without seeking the truth in it. I had seen a little boy recently, he was sad… and I said are you ok? He looked at me and with the saddest most beautiful eyes he said to me… I don’t have a daddy… I said yes you do, I will be your father… He said well what about my real dad, I said son, every father has had a father that possibly didn’t show him the love that a dad can give. I can give you this.. The little boys eyes welled up and I held him why we both cried.. It was the most powerful hug I ever felt… As he cried he screamed, why doesn’t he love me? why doesn’t he want to see if I am ok? Why doesn’t he call me? What did I do that was so bad, I will take it back! I will be a good boy… The more I held him, I listened to him cry out.. all of his truths… He just wanted his father to love him, and tell him he was worth the world to him, and that he was proud to have him as his son. I listened as I heard the lies begin…

I am worthless, I don’t want to be anything when I grow up, I am not good enough for anything, I am not worth loving… I hurt inside because my father wishes I was never born… My heart was breaking for this child.. I couldn’t hold him any tighter for fear I would hurt him. I said it just isn’t true… He said yes it is! As loud as this boy was screaming I could feel the pain coming from him, coming from what he felt inside. The fear, the abandonment, the torture he was under from being attacked from his mind over and over. He finally said… I hate my father… I said Son… you can’t hate your father it just isn’t true none of it.

He tried to pull away… I said what is a father to you? He said not the man who is my father, and I said so how can you hate him for being something he is not? He paused… it was as though something in him shifted.. He was quiet for a long time and then wiped tears from his eyes and said… What do you mean how can I hate him for something he is not? I looked at him and said do you know your grandparents? Grandma or Grandpa his parents? He said yes, I said what do you know about them. Well I know my grandma very well, I see her all the time, and I said what about your grandpa, well he died when I was young but he wasn’t there much for the family! So I said well son, if his father wasn’t there for him, where would you father learn to be a father? His silence was overwhelming. I said you know that pain you feel for your father not being here for you? He said yes! I said can you forgive your father for not knowing how to be a father to you? He said I guess so…. I then pulled him back and looked into this child’s eyes. I said son… No matter what you say inside, your father loves you, he loves you but to be something he was never taught to be with no template how successful will he be? would he make a good father to you?

His eyes as swelled as they became, looked at me and said I suppose not! I looked deeper into him and could see a release from what he felt in anger. I said do you realize how deeply he does love you can you feel it in your heart, that even thought he is not in your life, that heart beat you have is the most unconditional love he gave to you?

He said yes… so I said don’t reject the heart that beats for you.. love you so you can love others and more than that forgive what you don’t know for being upset with things you can’t know will only create suffering. Can you stand in this truth?

Yes, well I am your father and I will be for as long as I am breathing. It was then I felt such tears… Yes the little boy was me and I was speaking to the inner child that always seems to show himself when he isn’t connected inside.

 

How do you stand in your truth?

 

 

Love deeply,

Clark

 

 

The soul of a man….

My son wrote this… and it is powerful beyond measure… so I am sharing here because it is deep and profound….  I love you my son!

CP

Ladies & Gentlemen,

If you ever fall in love..
Fall in love with someone who wants to know your favorite color & how you like your coffee. Fall in love with someone who loves to hear you laugh & does whatever they can to hear it often. Fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest to hear your heartbeat. Fall in love with someone who kisses you in public & is proud to show you off to anyone & everyone you meet. Fall in love with someone who makes you question why you were ever afraid to fall in love in the first place. Fall in love with someone who makes you realize you are winning the race. Fall in love with someone that will show you that when you hurt, he or she will hurt with you. Fall in love with someone who will spend years with you & will still always flirt with you. Fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws & thinks you are perfect just the way you are. Fall in love with someone that shows you how to stop leading with your brain & start leading with your heart…

 

 

 

My son…

 

You are a brilliant writer.. and your true essence comes through when you let go and just let it flow!  I am proud of you!  You touch me to my core and say words that I always felt within me!

Love,

Dad

 

Twin Flames Calling…

Originally posted on Twin Flame Archives:

vibrations of flames

Who listens? A Twin Flame Calling…

Your energy is real……

I want…. I need…. If you can’t hear yourself, who can hear you? Who can help you through the storm? Who can help you understand what you are saying inside? When we abandon this need or want who will come to save us from ourselves? Twins find this part of the connection undoable. We lie and lie some more not seeing the truth about how we connect or why we connect. The choice is to keep hidden, to keep searching, to keep running, to keep chasing. What is this more directly? The direct energy of not sharing this with the other is the lack of communication that happens to us that we are quiet inside and we are here to tell you that you are not without….

When we connected dear souls… something was there that made her stay in…

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Out on a limb Trust! Healing series March Trust 2014

 

life-is-too-short-to-wait_large

Trust Out On A Limb …

 

 

How you trust and what you trust are significantly impacted by the way you can kiss someone and won’t let go!  You hold back, you hold back, from the place inside that has been hurt in love, hurt inside and no way of turning back the hands of time to remove the place inside you that expects or better still trusts that you will be hurt.

 

This is so common and so powerful it just doesn’t effect what happens to you when you are intimate, but it happens when you are able to communicate with anyone..  You will not trust telling them your truths, not trust telling them what you feel because a dismissal of what you feel is going to suffer and it makes you suffer from the suffocation of not being heard, not being understood, not being loved for whatever may come out of you.   This strikes your security and hurts you sense of self in the most violent way, your trust is compromised by your thinking and your thinking does the protection of how you suffer.  Isn’t this backwards, shouldn’t you be able to share what is going on inside you without feeling broken, without feeling a sense of self that is completely distraught.

 

So many use the term go with the flow where the flow with them is in disruption!  The thinking begins and it becomes a disconnection of the self in ways that no one ever truly sees.  This is painful as the pain body becomes awakened by the sense of silence that is placed in a box where inside you are left screaming for not being heard.  What does this have to do with Trust you may ask.  Well inside you begins the words, no one is listening, no one believes, I can say this or keep this in here, it is best to keep this hidden.   You now will have a root that your trust can never flourish because of this belief, because of the words that stay in you that says you can’t speak what you feel.  Rejection of the self is the most common form of trust that can be broken.

 

You will become molded into being a specific way because you think you can’t trust what you feel and you can’t trust that you can tell anyone what you feel.  The lies begin to become powerful inside and you will say things that will hurt others without not even seeing that you are only infected with the lies you keep inside.  As you find this form of abandonment in what trust is within you, something shifts.. Something is lost, something is silent in you and something is isolated.   You then will find a place where you can just be safe inside yourself and unless it is activated, will you activate the broken trust in you.

 

What is it to activate the broken trust in you? Let’s say you recently are broken up with someone and you got hurt because your trust was impacted, it is not uncommon to say I need time to heal where in the healing process you find fault in something you did or didn’t do and now will say something is wrong with you, you will either be single for a long time, or try and get back out there yet your sense of being able to be with someone will be less than, or more than depending on what happen to your trust in yourself to be with someone else who will not hurt you.  You even trust the story that you have experienced and it keeps you from ever truly healing.  You don’t trust your own choices, how is that healing?  You don’t trust that what you will find in someone else will be their trustworthiness to always be honest with you.  To not hurt you like you once were hurt.  Your mind is always in active in overdrive, because of what you experienced and it becomes painful to you, not because of them, but because of your sense of self that suffered with no true healing.   What is true healing? True healing is the moment you say why don’t I trust?  You go into it, you go into what says your trust is broken.  Have you experienced something like this only to find that you can’t fix what is broken because you want or need to give responsibility to someone else to fix this!  Yet no one will ever be able to get close enough to you because you have stated the core statement of why no one ever will… The statement is I was hurt by someone who betrayed me infecting my trust in them and myself.  The ultimate betrayal is not found in what was done to you, but what was done to the sense of self that says you can’t be with anyone else now because of this, or you can’t trust your own choices now because of what has happened.

 

In every moment you trust… we don’t see it this way but it is the truth. You trust that others who are driving down the same road as you have control over their own vehicle, you trust that the electric company will keep on your electricity, you trust that your internet will not go down before you reach the end of this post.

 

You see trust is activated in everything we do, yet it remains broken in connection by choices and by not seeing the impact of those choices to our core trust we have in everything.   What changes would you make if you could wake everyday and be able to go out on a limb and trust completely?

 

Would you cry in all moments because your trust was broken?  Or would at some point you trust yourself again to trust everything again not being stuck in the time machine of what was and making yourself suffer from a trust that may have been challenged?  It should never keep you from the truth of connection or the truth of what trust can give you inside yourself.

 

When you look at this under the light of how this was written here…

 

What would you do with the trust you currently have and would you change any part of it?  If so when?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

 

 

2014 Healing Series, Blog talk Radio Show with Special Guest Sheri Bessi from The other side of Ugly!

Trust is the topic of todays discussion! ThankHealing series! You Sheri for joining us!

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/03/22/awakenings-of-the-twin-flames-discussion